The Scat in the Hat

I done a poo in a hat

You can’t say fairer than that

I done a poo in a lake

A girl fished it out with a rake

I done a poo on a lathe

It started out slight but turned into a swathe

I done a poo on a cat with no legs

They washed it all off, now she sits up and begs

I done a poo on a runcible spoon

But the dish ran away at the sight of my moon

I done a poo on a jellicle cat

I wonder what old Thomas Stearns thought of that

I done a poo on a fisherman’s wig

The volume was large as the meal had been big.

It took him three years to get rid of the smell

With the strict application of strong-scented gel

I done a poo in a radial arc

You’d do the same being chased by a shark

I done a poo on my doctor’s white glove

The aim had been mainly to show her my love

I done a poo thrice a day for a year

To break a world record I’ve always held dear

I done a poo in a patented style

The judge fined me dear for infringement of bile

I done a poo on a rare Jackson Pollock

By way of critiquing that mad alcoholic

I done a poo on some Japanese prints

My Hokusai’s hues have been subtler since

I done a poo on some Japanese prince

He endured it with grace though the smell made him wince

I done a poo on my surgeon’s cream bun,

Now a colectomy’s put an end to my fun.

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