Beef sonnet

Inspired by a fellow palindromist’s attempt to construct a palindromic sonnet about nothing in particular, I have decided to set myself the lesser challenge of writing a palindromic sonnet about beef. All your questions have been anticipated and answered below:

1. Why beef?

Why not?

2. Seriously though, why beef?

I wanted a challenge I could really get my teeth into.

3. Aren’t you aware of the recent scandal surrounding horsemeat in beefy meals? How can we be sure that your palindrome doesn’t contain horsemeat?

I can assure you that it will contain some horsemeat, but not much, and probably well hidden.

4. Will there be any cheese in it?

Well, cheese is a kind of meat, so I’ll see what I can muster.

5. Will there be a vegetarian option?

Yes. You can choose not to read it.

6. Seriously though, aren’t you going to cater for vegetarians?

I shall be preparing a haiku about lettuce for the vegetarians.

7. What rhyme scheme and metre are you intending to use?

Rhyming cutlets, and lambic pentameter.

8. Are you planning on including the word ‘feeble’?


9. What about ‘prion’?

Hmm… I don’t want things to get too noir.

10. How about ‘bovine spongiform encephalopathy’?

I’ll leave that one to the masters…

11. When will it be ready?

Depends how you like your beef. Well done will take a while; rare will need a lot longer.

12. Did Shakespeare write any palindromic sonnets about beef?

Not as far as I know.

13. Does that mean if you pull it off you’ll be a better poet than Shakespeare?!

I’ll let history be the judge of that. But basically, yes, yes it does.

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